Realisation
by icedbubbles
Summary: Isn't it funny the places you realise the most important things? Catherine realises her feelings for Sara whilst watching her daughter in a school play. What will she do? Will she tell Sara how she feels? CS femslash- don't like don't read!


OK, this is really really cheesy. But who doesn't love a bit of cheese? The idea popped into my head whilst i was babysitting my cousins who just had to watch High School Musical for the 900th time...

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or High School Musical or any of their characters or songs.

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It's funny the things that make you realise how you feel about someone and what such a realisation can cause to happen. I'm sat doing paperwork thinking about the craziness of the last few hours. Let me take you back a few hours, so that you can fully understand where my head is and was. I was sat at Lindsey's latest school play, a re-enactment of High School Musical. I felt so proud that she is my daughter. Anyway, I'd never watched the movie high school musical with her, she's always watched at my sisters.

And then the school decided to do the show. Lindsey told me last week that she has been practicing, and she'd love me to go. She said she'd kept it a secret to surprise me.

So there I was, sat with all the other parents, when my daughter and some good-looking teenage boy come onto stage singing "The start of something new."

Listening to the lyrics made me think of somebody extremely surprising. I'd had feelings that had been confusing me for a while now, but it was only earlier this evening that I finally realised what these feelings were and they extent of them.

My daughter has a truly amazing voice. But it was the lyrics that really got to me.

"I never believed in, what I couldn't see. I never opened my heart, to all the possibilities.

I know, that something has changed, never felt this way, and right here tonight. This could be the start, of something new….

I feel in my heart- the start of something new."

I couldn't believe how true those lyrics were, and how they applied to me.

As a group of basketballers came onto stage, I actually believed that something was telling me to take a chance on exposing these feelings. I needed to sort my head out.

"Gotta getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha head in the game. Gotta getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha head in the game!"

I know I have to 'get my head in the game'. I'm feeling rather strange right now. No matter what I think, the next song explains it better. As the song just said:

"My head's in the game buy my heart's in the song."

At the moment, my head's here, my heart is back at work, thinking of her. Recently, we have been getting along really well. She split up with Grissom after her little sabbatical. She told me she went and did some soul-searching out in California, and wanted to be here, but didn't want to be with him. It confused me immensely when I realised I was ecstatic about them splitting up.

"It's hard to believe, that I couldn't see- you were always there beside me.

Thought I was alone, with no one to hold, but you were always right beside me.

This feeling's like no other, I want you to know… that I've never had someone, that knows me like you do, and I've never had someone, as good for me as you, no-one like you, so lonely before, I finally found, what I've been looking for."

That song just sums it up. Since she's been back, she's always been there for me, held my when I broke down over a case, and it felt right. She knows me better than anyone she knows- everything about me.

I shake my head. I mean come on. She's making amends, wants to be your friend, nothing more. A little nagging voice inside my head tells me that I shouldn't run straight up to her at work this evening and kiss her senseless. After all, she's straight; I've always been straight, well until now…

It's really strange how this play is messing with my head, the songs are getting into my head, it's as if they know what I'm thinking.

"no, no, no, stick to the stuff you know…

don't mess with the flow no, no…

It is better by far to leave things as they are, don't mess with the flow no, no

Stick to the status quo."

I sigh, as I think I was maybe getting ahead of myself. Why would someone like her want someone like me? I know we are friends now, but she was with Grissom, and I was with, well no-one but that's beside the point.

I look up at my daughter on stage and realise that, she is doing what she loves, proving that she can do it, she's fantastic, and I'm so proud of her. As she leaves the stage at the end of the scene, I'm feeling a little more enthusiastic about my newly realised feelings. I should follow my daughter's example, and go for what I want.

"I believe in dreaming, shooting for the stars…

Kicking and scratching, grinding out my best.

Anything it takes, to climb the ladder of success.

Work our tails off every day,

Gotta bump the competition,

Blow them all away…"

The song is appearing to tell me the same thing. If I really want her, which I know I do, I should go for it, yeh? Of course I should. If she's the person I have fallen for then even if she doesn't feel the same (which she probably won't) then she won't think any less of me, and well, there's always the chance that maybe she feels the same.

No matter what, I have to try. I can't go on like I have been. I didn't even realise what was happening until my epiphany at the start of this play. The song playing now seems to be expressing my emotions, what's been happening to me recently. I mean I always appreciated her beauty… and come to think of it, I'm sure she has checked out my backside on more than one occasion…

"You never know what you're gonna feel,oo, you never see it coming- but suddenly it's real.

Never even crossed my mind, no  
That I would ever end up here tonight

Things change  
When you don't expect them to  
No one knows What the futures gonna do  
I never even noticed  
That you've been there all along

I cant take my eyes off you  
I know you feel the same way too, yeah  
I cant take my eyes off of you  
All it took . . . Was one look  
For a dream come true"

Suddenly I remember an incident in the break room last week. The atmosphere was so tense, we just sat there, looking at each other, until Greg came in and spoilt the moment. How did I not remember that, or know what it was until now?

I realise now that I've been stupid. I mean, since she got back, everything that has happened has suggested a possible attraction, but oh no I didn't notice.

The play has ended, and I'm sat here dumbstruck. How can such a thing as a re-enactment of high school musical make me realise my feelings? I'm still slightly shocked that I'm attracted, no, more than attracted to Sara Sidle.

Lindsey appears, and I run up to her and give her the biggest hug I think I ever have.

"Baby you were amazing." I tell her, and she beams proudly. We talk about the play all the way back to my sisters, and I really don't want to leave her when she's this happy, but I have to go to work.

"Love you baby, I'll pick you up in the morning, you were awesome sweetie." I tell her before giving her a kiss and letting her run off inside.

Now, all I have to do is figure out what to do about my feelings towards a certain Sara Sidle.

As I arrive at work, I think I already know that I'm going to come clean about my feelings. At that moment she walks into the locker room.

"Hey Cath, was Lindsey's play good?"

I look up at her, this is the moment.

I nod, "It was amazing, she was amazing. You're amazing."

Shit, I didn't just say that like that.

She looks at me confused before saying. "Huh, me? Why am I amazing Cath?"

Shit, well I suppose I might as well tell her now, I think of the song from earlier, "one look" we have shared some looks, she may feel the same. I take a deep breath, and in one breath say:

"you're so smart, you're caring, thoughtful, beautiful, reliable, funny, determined, focused, perfect. You're just one truly amazing person Sara Sidle. And I think I love you " I smile, then sit down, take a deep breath and look at the floor.

The next thing I know she's sitting right next to me, and she puts her finger under my chin to make me look up at her. I look into her eyes, and see the same feelings I have reflecting in hers, namely- love. She smiles, before shaking her head slightly laughing, before saying in a quiet, almost shy voice:

"are you sure you've got the right person Cath? Why would someone like you want someone like me?"

I'm confused, did she not just hear me? "Sara I just told you why. You're perfect."

She smiles, shakes her head, and whispers into my ear, "No Catherine, you're perfect."

The next thing I know her soft lips are on mine, tentatively kissing me. I think I'm in heaven. I pull away to look her in the eyes, before capturing her lips again. This time the kiss is filled with more passion, I nibble on her bottom lip, and she gasps slightly, allowing my tongue to enter her mouth. I hear her moan softly, or was that me? We fight for dominance, before she pulls away after oxygen becomes an issue. Who needs oxygen when you have Sara Sidle kissing you though?

She gives me a quick peck on the lips, before resting her forehead against mine, both of us breathing deeply trying to get our heart rates back to something resembling normal.

Eventually, she pulls away, and asks, "What made you tell me Cath? What made you realise how you felt?"

I smile, shake my head before telling her the story.

"Actually, it was Lindsey's play."

"High School Musical? How romantic."

I laugh, and kiss her again, before nibbling on her earlobe and whisper "very romantic."

I can tell she thinks I'm absolutely crazy, and at this moment, I need to show her how the lyrics showed me how I felt.

"Sara. Listen to me." I say. I give her a quick kiss on the top of her forehead, before singing lightly:

"We're soarin', flyin', there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.

If we're trying, so we're breaking free."

I smile, and take her hand in mine, before carrying on singing softly in her ear.

"You know the world can see us, in a way that's different than who we are, creating space between us till we're different hearts"

I pull her face close to mine, and whisper "before you left, we were always at each others throats. I think I always knew how I felt about you, but couldn't even admit it to myself, because I was scared, of what you'd think, what everybody would think.." I kiss her nose, and carry on singing, normally I'd feel stupid, but this song is perfect at the moment.

"But your faith, it gives me strength, strength to believe

We're breaking free -  
We're soarin' , flyin'  
There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach  
If we're tryin'  
Yeah, we're breaking free"

She smiles back at me, and nuzzles her head against my chest. She looks up, and says, "I know the song Cath." She then surprises me by singing softly to me:

"Can you feel it building  
Like a wave the ocean just can't control  
Connected by a feeling  
Oh, in our very souls "

I laugh slightly at the situation, before recapturing her mouth in a passionate kiss, kissing her as if there's no tomorrow. My hands seem to have a life of their own and are dancing around the bottom of her tank top.

A cough from behind makes us pull away quickly, panting from the heat of the kiss. Greg is stood there looking smug. "About bloody time I say" he laughs and comes in, with Nick and Warrick behind him.

I'm shocked; everything has changed so quickly, all because of Lindsey's play. Wait did he say about time, does that mean they expected it? That they're ok with it.

"You guys are ok about this then?" Sara asks the question I was just thinking.

"Of course, why wouldn't we be." Warrick says from behind. "What was the last song in Lindsey's play Cath? I think you'll find girls it was called 'we're all in this together'."

I smack him lightly, and smile, before I finally realise we're all at work, and we all go to the break room together.

"We're all in this together."

So there we have it, the reason why I suddenly love high school musical, and don't even mind paperwork.

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**A nice little review would be great guys.**

p.s. i know the tense changes a bit, I didn't really know how to change it and keep the story, sorry if it makes it a bit harder to understand.


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